I will be completely truthful this picture scares me and at the same time that intrigues me which is what makes me love it all the more.
Vision/Originality: Your idea was amazing, and I think that you successfully created it. I can't stop staring at the blinking or rather sliding? eye holes. I love the shutter effect of them. It's like you're truly blinking at anyone who looks.
Technique/Impact: Honestly, like I previously stated the photo scares and intrigues at the same time. I don't think that was your desire, but it does, and I love it just for that reason alone. It was a wonderful idea, and successfully done.
I like this version, too. It's lively, like a robot in a Pixar movie. I think it would look more natural if you put some pauses between the "blinks" though, so it would look more like the mechanical equivalent of human blinking, and the motion would have more of a sense of asymmetrical, interesting rhythm.
This was supposed to be the version for my profile page but when dA introduced version something or other (the version we are on now) it killed the use of a gif in the profile picture. I agree with your suggested adjustment completely. This was pretty raw.